Dotted around the country are some difficult man vs food challenges. Find one, starve yourself for a few days, and you might just have a chance.
So when I go to university, my friends and I get to dine at fancy restaurants I’d never normally try. Last was one such week.
So I was at an Akbar’s curry house and saw “Chef’s Challenge 1 – Big Un” on the menu for £15. Finally I’ve found my calling.
It’s a meat feast curry – piled high – with a separate plate of pilau, and a hanging family naan bread the size of a human chest. I ease through most of the curry, mixing rice in until I’m 1 plate down. Toward the end of the curry, filled with mysterious meats, I’m almost gagging. But I soldier on and finish it because that’s what real men do!
Then there’s the final issue of the naan. I’m already full, and I have to start and finish a family naan for 4 that’s so big it hangs off a hook in mid-air. By this point, the Akbar’s staff were watching me with hawk-like gazes, constantly patrolling to ensure I didn’t cheat. My friends are egging me on. And somehow, some way, I did it. I’ve no idea where it went, and admittedly I hid a slice in my phone case, but I ate it all.
A waiter brings out a certificate with my name on, signed by the manager, and congratulates me. I mention the free dessert the menu promised to any winners, and he says “the idea is you’re too full for dessert!” to which I reply “I do want the dessert; show me the menu!”
One ‘peanut butter stack’ with ice cream later, I feel pretty satisfied. I may have walked out that restaurant looking pregnant and carrying a sliver of naan bread in my phone case, but I walked out a champion.